Thursday, September 10, 2015

No Means No When Babysitting

When babysitting you will always come to a point of defiance. Every child has a point where they want to be done obeying and will tell you that. Some do it discreetly and some don't say it at all. But no matter how awesome you and the parents think that kid is, there will be a day.

The biggest issue is dealing with it. When babysitting siblings it's easy: "I'm calling dad." But not so much with other people's kids. You might not know how they punish their children and how they want you to do it. The best thing you can do is trust your instincts.

*You can't physically punish a child; and you might not be able to punish them they way you want to either. Often it's harder to make a kid sit in "time out" than you thought it would. Some don't even understand the concept of "time out!" I find the best way to punish a child is to take away what is causing the problem in different sizes.

For me, most of the time when the defiance comes because of a electronic. Start by setting a timer, both you and the child understand this concept. If it's still a problem, turn off the electronic. Last result, take/put it away.

But sometimes it's not as easy as that. It is definitely hard when it's not a physical thing that is causing a problem. One may have an attitude, be too bossy, or have a medical condition. Still you can take away the problem. It's like algebra, try to get the unknown away from problem or equation. 

*It's okay if children scream, they're not going to hurt themselves. If a child starts screaming at you, do not scream back. Use a gentle and knowing voice, tell them what is going to happen, how it's going to happen, and the options if there are any.

*The worst thing you can do when punishing a children is give in. You are in charge! They might scream at you that you are not, but we both know you are. It also does not matter if what you are "putting away" shall we call it is not yours, you are in charge and your best instincts are what matter. If putting something away is the best thing to do, do it.

*No punishment should ever be a result of frustration or anger from the person giving the punishment. You should not react in anger or frustration at a child when things aren't working out or are stressful. You need to keep calm so everybody else is too. If you yell at a child when you are angry, they don't understand. Your words may be forgotten, but the screaming and wailing won't be.

When punishing there should be obedience from both sides of the equation. If you are punishing a child wisely and respectfully, you are obeying. How? you may ask. Well, if a parent tells you to tell them if something went wrong and you don't, obviously you're disobeying, but if you do let the parents know, you're following the instructions and the rules that were set. It's the same with punishing, if you punish the child with the understanding that it's what needs to be done for the better, you are obeying your better judgement and most of the time the parents as well.

Do not act or pretend to be the child's parent, it will not be good for either you or the child. Do not dish out punishment like it doesn't matter. It does, children remember what happened when they did something. Do not loose it every time something goes wrong, be understanding. Before you inflict the consequences, give the child a chance to say sorry and be forgiven. Only should discipline happen when the child does not respond to NO more than once or twice.

I hope that this gave all you beginning babysitters an idea of how to not get scared and hide when I child says no to you. All of these points I follow and as long as you have patience, and are responsible everything will run smoothly.

Thank you for reading!

XO AnnaD